Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Dropping the ball.....again.

It's 11:15 and I am sitting here, realizing that I have done it again. Done what you asked? Well, actually, its a matter of what I didn't do. First time I felt bad, this time, I feel downright incompetent. Actually, I just realized I have done it three times. Now, I feel like an ass.

Last week I was supposed to have dropped off a gift card for teacher appreciation week. Forgot to do it. At least the mom was nice enough to remind me and really understand. I still felt bad. It was that same night, that I realized that I had never sent in the money for the Father/Daughter dance. You know, the dance that my child hasn't wanted to attend for the last few years, but now all of a sudden does. So I emailed again, with apologies again...and got a "Please send the money in tomorrow!" Ok, done.

Today, I was supposed to make macaroni salad for teacher appreciation week. Except I thought it was tomorrow.....not today, and the luncheon is RIGHT NOW. I am the ass of all asses and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it except apologize.

I hate to use Brigitte as my excuse, but sometimes she is all I have. I am trying to manage a busy household of 4 kids....and a husband who doesn't come home much during the week because gas prices are too high and he's exhausted.

I am juggling 2 baseball teams, all-star cheering, private tumbling lessons, therapy sessions, IEP and 504 meetings, doctors appointments, food school, a husband, a dog, etc. There is no time for me....and I don't allow myself to make mistakes. Yet, I have made 3 BIG ONES in the last week all at the expense of the three children who deserve it the least.

Today's post is a total vent. Not looking for sympathy or excuses....just getting it out on paper. Being accountable for it and admitting it. Realizing that I really cannot do it all.